Editor's Note: Each week, Mike "Statman" Donovan writes up obscure and fun trivia related to the Portland Timbers and Thorns FC. We call them #Statman Stumpers, presented by Dutch Bros. Think you can beat the Statman? Post your scores on social media.
With the return of the 2020 MLS regular season this Sunday against Seattle Sounders FC (7pm, FS1), #Statman asks if you can name every Timbers player across all eras of the club who has scored against our rivals to the north. Don't let the format below scare you. You don't need to know the exact match date of each goalscorer, you just need to guess the names.
Club
#Statman Stumpers | Can you name every Timbers player to ever score against Seattle?


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5:30
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10:26
HIGHLIGHTS | Austin FC vs. Portland Timbers | Nov. 7, 2026
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Timbers clinch spot in Audi 2026 MLS Cup Playoffs as No. 7 seed
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1:03
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1:06
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